Post for Dad

A couple of years ago, my dad killed himself by overdose. At the time, I wrote this for him. Maybe it can help someone else understand their feelings as well...

The Pain of Loss
Denial, Anger, Pleading, Depression, Acceptance

You were there. I heard you, I saw you. I found out today that you have left. I wonder where you have gone. Shortly ago, I know you were there. I heard you, I saw you. I think perhaps you still are. I still hear you, but can't see you.Where have you gone?

Why didn't you say you were leaving? Maybe I could have helped! Why did you leave so soon? I wasn't ready for you to go! You must come back. This isn't real. I know you are there.
I heard you. I saw you!

Why Did You Leave?

You didn't have to go. Why don't you come back? I promise I'll see you now. I'm sorry. Come back!

I never meant to push you away… You can come back now! I'll stay with you. You didn't have to go…

I worry now. I can't hear you. I can't see you. I can't hear you, can't see you. I worry now. Where have you gone? Why have you gone? Why have you left me here? I cry now. I can't hear you. I can't seeyou. Ever. Please come back…

I understand now. I can't hear you. I can't see you. I accept now. You left us here to end your pain. I miss you now, I want you here. I wish you hadn't left.

I will see you.
I will hear you.
Again…
in the end…

I miss you.